A Break in the Clouds

I think I defined a moment of my self worth Saturday night. On my way home from trivia, I called and left a message for my college crush. I asked to just be friends. For the first time in our 16 year hit or miss life time, I did this without tears. I may be unhappy when I’m lonely. Nothing may come of the crush. But I just could not settle for a lack of hopeless romance. I couldn’t look past the pain. I was finding it hard to remember all the good times we have had but easy to remember all the tearful ones. You can’t build a quality relationship on that. While I may be lonely, unhappy, always concerned that I am not enough, I do know that I don’t deserve another relationship that leaves me feeling insecure.

In terms of relationships, I think I can define what I need and what I will accept as a suitable. I want the hopeless romance. I want to retain my independence. I want to feel secure. I want to receive the complements, the eye contact, the random genuine smiles, and the confidence that I am not going to be manipulated.



Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s