Ok, so amazingly enough I had a interesting deep conversation with my crush’s brother (I think I was being “interviewed” since brother is going on 2 years with his girlfriend). This has lead to lots of pondering about anxiety, self worth, self confidence, and my faith. After this long in depth conversation, I had an amazing dream of my crush and we almost had a our first kiss, it was getting ready to happen and then I woke up.
So we spend a lot of time talking about our mishaps in life. The brother was unwavering in his faith, consistently mentioning that God loves us all unconditionally and we are unique and no matter what we do God still loves us even if our choices are less than desirable. He also said that if God can love us regardless then we have no excuse not to love ourselves.
I guess that is the best starting point, looking at loving myself and being unconditional in that love.