Getting Back Into Focus

So I need to get back into focus. I was texting a friend, one I consider a mentor, and I asked her why did God keep punishing me for not being content with being alone. She said to ask him and listen for a response. He created me and he is proud of me, perhaps he wants me to be proud of myself. But only he has those answers.

I’ve decided to go to church. But not my home church a different church. One where I can just slip in, hopefully unnoticed. One where the don’t know me. I think I’m going to try this on weekends I don’t have my little man. I don’t like going to my home church because my parents are very involved there and people know me but I don’t know them. Also if I don’t have my little man everyone asks where he is. CLEARLY he is not with me did you forget I was divorced and that it is still painful?

I think I’ll give this project thru the summer. Perhaps I’ll blog about the visits and my faith thoughts for the day. Maybe that will be productive and help me “listen” for God.


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