Amazing what a morning at church, a hashtag of #MeParty with FB post for the day, and mowing the lawn will do.
I listened to my thoughts while mowing today. I used to listen to music, but then it just got to hard to deal with my father’s yelling and hand waving over the mower and music, so I dropped the music and I think.
I thought about my life goals. Are they still doable on my own or do I NEED someone to achieve them. Turns out I can do every single one on my own. If I want another child I can even do that on my own.
I don’t really NEED a partner. I sure as hell would LIKE one. In fact I would say it ranks on my wish list every year. So I WANT one. I WANT one to take away the loneliness. I WANT one to fill the empty void in the bed when little man is gone. I WANT one to make the tough times seem easier with not wondering if someone is in my corner and being able to just know they are there.
But I also WANT to be wealthy, yet I don’t spend days and weeks lamenting over loosing the lottery. So why do I do that about men?
They are both WANTS. They both fill an area. But yet I treat one as an apple and the other as an orange. That stops today they are both red apples. Why red? Because if they were green I’d want them. I only eat green apples. Everyone knows that! 😄