F This

I don’t know why I broke down crying 15 min ago. I don’t know why I feel like I need to cry so more.

My house is a mess, my patio sanctuary is in ruins as the deck is getting replaces so I have to move stuff and their were some thunderstorms last week and I wanted to protect my plants.

I have shit to do and yet I can’t move. I did so well for like 2 days maybe 3 I can’t remember. And now I’m overwhelmed.

I’m little angry as well. My old crush who I stopped crushing was stirring up pieces of my heart. He slept on the school roof. For the kids. He did live feeds. He is just adorable with his dimples and sense of humor. And then the fact that he does this stuff. But I was attracted to my ex when I saw him babysitting for a friend of his. Men interacting with kids appropriately- my kryptonite.

I feel like I’m in a boat during a giant storm. I’m sick of it and I feel like I’m always drowning.

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